No Filter April 17, 2009
Posted by livelaughhopelove in Uncategorized.Tags: it's all about me, what's wrong with me?
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I am sarcastic. I have a strange sense of humor. My mind is usually in the gutter. I usually try to control this at work, but once I start feeling comfortable with people, this “real” side of me comes out. And quite often, people are surprised.
This nice, sweet, innocent girl with the wide blue eyes and contagious laugh is really a dirtbag 17-year-old boy?
Sadly, yes. It’s an interesting realization when it happens. I usually end up feeling badly about something I said and then wondering if I happened to offend someone. I’m never rude, but inappropriate? Yes, I guess you could call it that.
It’s a fine line between the attitude that I’m currently carrying: this is me. Take it or leave it. If you like me for me, awesome. If you’re easily offended, this isn’t going to work. I don’t always have a “filter.” Things fall out of my mouth all the time that sometimes, I wish I could take back. I make a comment to someone that I shouldn’t have made. My questions can be too intrusive.
Or maybe this (not the fact that I know sports trivia) is the reason I’m still single. Sigh.
Quarter Life Crisis February 8, 2009
Posted by livelaughhopelove in Uncategorized.Tags: thoughts on stuff, what's wrong with me?
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On the surface, everything seems fine.
I still have my job, at a time when many don’t. I love my job, and I do it well, again, when there are many that can’t say those words.
I have a condo that I can afford, food in my fridge, and heat and electricity (and a garage and other cool stuff).
I have clothes that fit, that may be last year’s styles, but still are remotely stylish.
I’ve lost the weight that I had started to gain back, thanks to an awareness of diet and a re-introduction to the gym. I’m happy with my current weight, in fact. I’ve been working toward setting a PR for my 5K time, and then running a 10K this spring, with hopes to run a half-marathon in the fall.
I have two parents who love me unconditionally and will be there whenever I need them.
I have great friends that I can call any time day or night and they’ll listen to me and tell me when I’m being irrational.
I have a great guy that is everything I said I wanted, who loves me for me, and does so many sweet, nice things, it’s wonderful.
But it’s all not “it.” There’s something missing. I just can’t put my finger on it. (Or don’t want to).
