Time Travel May 21, 2009
Posted by livelaughhopelove in Uncategorized.Tags: thoughts on stuff
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This post is inspired by the TV show LOST. For those that don’t watch, it’s okay, you can still follow. For those that do, you’ll see where I’m coming from. That’s all.
Here is a question that has been proposed in the last few episodes of the show: If you knew what you know now and could go back and erase the last 3 years (and all knowledge that occurred in those three years), would you? If, three years ago, you were on the cusp of a major decision and you could now go back, would you?
All of the people that you’ve met, all of the friendships, relationships, hook-ups, break-ups that you’ve had… all gone. You’d get to start again. But maybe you’d make the same mistakes because you don’t have the knowledge. If, during your senior year of college, you were offered the chance to take it all back, to send in an acceptance letter to another school, and start again (with no learned knowledge from your current experience), would you?
Would you end up in the same place? (The Sliding Doors theory)? Or would your life take an entirely different turn? If you were destined to have your heart broken on your 21st birthday, would that happen no matter what? A different guy, but same outcome? If you were destined to break your ankle and have surgery on it when you were 23, will that occur even if you didn’t join the soccer team?
It’s an interesting concept, destiny. It’s kind of disturbing to think that free will doesn’t have a play in life. That the choices I’m making are because that’s what is supposed to happen. That everything that has happened in my life happened to get me to where I am today (27 and single? Thanks, destiny).
Would I go back in time and change things and hope (but not guarantee) a better outcome? Nah, I don’t think so. All of those tears and laughs really did make me who I am today. And honestly? I kind of like me.
10 Things April 23, 2009
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10 Things Girls Should Know How To Do
1. Change a tire
2. Put together a piece of simple furniture (e.g. end table)
3. Break up with someone gently and honestly
4. Ask someone out (not saying we should have to)
5. Turn someone down gently and honestly
6. Go on a date and stick to her guns about how far it’s going to go (see also: be able to say no)
7. Run in heels
8. Be able to cook something for any meal (or dessert)
9. Go on an interview and appear confident and strong (and follow up with a strong handshake)
10. Know when to walk away (from a job, a relationship, a friendship, a house…)
10 Things Girls Should Have
1. An outfit that you feel comfortable in to go out to a nice dinner, to go out to the bar/club, and to lie on your couch in
2. One perfect dress to wear to a wedding or formal occasion
3. A great best friend/confidante
4. A tool box
5. A passport
6. Condoms on hand
7. Alcohol in the fridge
8. A pair of knee-high (f-me) boots
9. The perfect bra – it fits well, the straps stay up, it makes the girls look good… you know.
10. Confidence in herself, no matter what
Unrequited March 16, 2009
Posted by livelaughhopelove in Uncategorized.Tags: On Love, relationships, thoughts on stuff
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This one was actually an extra this week, only available through a link on twitter. But it was my favorite.
How many times have we all wished that someone was in love with us? We’ve hoped that they reciprocate feelings? Whether we’re friends, hoping for more? Or maybe someone we start dating and they just don’t see it going in the same direction? Or someone that we’ve been dating and we can feel the love slipping away?
I don’t know the case of the person that sent this in. But I know the pain they are feeling, no matter what the case is. It’s hard enough to recognize your own feelings. And once you finally do, you want the other person to be there with you.
And when they aren’t? Is there anything more heartbreaking?
Quarter Life Crisis February 8, 2009
Posted by livelaughhopelove in Uncategorized.Tags: thoughts on stuff, what's wrong with me?
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On the surface, everything seems fine.
I still have my job, at a time when many don’t. I love my job, and I do it well, again, when there are many that can’t say those words.
I have a condo that I can afford, food in my fridge, and heat and electricity (and a garage and other cool stuff).
I have clothes that fit, that may be last year’s styles, but still are remotely stylish.
I’ve lost the weight that I had started to gain back, thanks to an awareness of diet and a re-introduction to the gym. I’m happy with my current weight, in fact. I’ve been working toward setting a PR for my 5K time, and then running a 10K this spring, with hopes to run a half-marathon in the fall.
I have two parents who love me unconditionally and will be there whenever I need them.
I have great friends that I can call any time day or night and they’ll listen to me and tell me when I’m being irrational.
I have a great guy that is everything I said I wanted, who loves me for me, and does so many sweet, nice things, it’s wonderful.
But it’s all not “it.” There’s something missing. I just can’t put my finger on it. (Or don’t want to).
This May Sound Pessimistic January 29, 2009
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I’ve learned that all weekends aren’t fantastic; all Mondays aren’t awful.
All kisses aren’t magical; all hugs aren’t strong.
All experiences aren’t learning ones; not everything makes you stronger.
All lies aren’t hurtful, and all truths aren’t always the easiest to hear.
All phone calls aren’t welcome, and all visits aren’t enjoyable.
All meals aren’t delicious; all drinks don’t make you feel better.
All runs aren’t therapeutic, and all soccer games aren’t fun.
All dates aren’t good; all relationships aren’t healthy.
All people aren’t good; all endings aren’t happy.
All promises aren’t kept; all words spoken aren’t sincere.
When one door closes, another one doesn’t always open.
All wishes don’t come true; all secrets aren’t kept.
Not everyone can be trusted; all conversations aren’t comfortable.
Some people genuinely aren’t good at heart; even the best intentions go awry.
All fairy tales don’t have happy endings; not all rain showers bring rainbows.
Not all text messages and emails are innocent; and not all have hidden meanings.
Not all lines are meant to be crossed, not everyone has a sense of humor.
Every lesson doesn’t require strength; not all tears are welcome.
Not all days are bad, and not all days are good.
This, above all, is what I need to remember.
Mistakes January 24, 2009
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We all make mistakes. If there is nothing else I’ve learned from watching four hours of Thursday night television, it’s people make mistakes. They trust their judgment, their intuition at the time. They follow their heart, their desires, their irrational, illogical side that guides them to make decisions that may be considered mistakes.
Sometimes we can get away with the mistakes we made. They stay in our heads, turning around for days, months, or even years. But they are ours and ours alone. Sometimes we admit to our mistakes. We try to make it right. We can’t stand the thought of carrying that weight around, so we suck it up and admit to what we did wrong. We are only human. We do things that hurt other people, whether we did it intentionally or not. We try to minimize that hurt, and sometimes by minimizing the hurt to ourselves, we hurt others even more.
We say something we shouldn’t to someone we shouldn’t. We do things that we wish we could take back. We stay awake at night, wondering how to make it right, wondering if we should tell the truth, wondering why it happened, wondering if it is going to happen again. Our brains fool us into thinking that the right thing… is sometimes the biggest mistake.
We can only trust the information we have in front of us, with us, at any given time. The problem sometimes with the information we have in front of us is that it lacks information about the future. The consequences. We don’t see the outcome of our actions.
So we sit. And we wonder. Because mistakes lead to guilt. Or fear. Or the absence of guilt or fear, and the wondering why. But if nothing else, each mistake we have made along the way have led us to who we are today. Each wrong turn, each bad decision, each choice we’ve made has served to make each one of us the person we are right now, in this very moment.
And if you can find people in your life that recognize that, who can love you for all the mistakes you’ve made, and for all the mistakes you’re going to make… then keep them. Keep them in your life – as friends, as lovers, as partners. Because maybe, just maybe, all the mistakes you made, happened for a reason. And that reason is to lead you to them.
Writing Prompt: Different Plans October 13, 2008
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(Text reads I don’t know how long I can do this, he said. I think the universe has different plans for me & we sat there in silence & I thought to myself that this is the thing we all come to & this is the thing we all fight & if we are lucky enough to lose, our lives become beautiful with mystery again & I sat there silent because that is not something that can be said.)
For the first time in over a month, I feel nothing when I see him. Today I was no longer interested in what he did this weekend, how much he drank, how little he stayed out. Rather, I was more concerned with my life. Setting my schedule for this week, for next. And I realized that I had my life to worry about and I no longer had the time or energy to concern myself with his.
Life was a mystery again. It certainly didn’t seem that way had you talked to me a month ago, but today I realized how true that was. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Who I’m going to date, who I’m going to fall in love with, where I’m going to end up. None of it is planned out, but it’s my map. Right now, I’m focused on me – the mystery of my life. I’m busy with my life, making my own routine.
A month ago, I wouldn’t have thought that the ending of our relationship was something that I was lucky enough to lose. Now? Absolutely. I feel stronger and almost relieved to be free. I was lucky to have had that experience, but I was also lucky enough to be free from it now that it is done. And now? Now I’m lucky enough to realize that.
