Live. Laugh. Hope. Love

On Dating June 15, 2009

There’s something about dating… that’s why so many movies and books are created about that very subject. There’s something about the nervous anticipation, about wondering what someone else is thinking. There’s something about being on your best behavior, being wined and dined, going to great places, staying up later than you should, just trying to learn as much as you can about someone, trying to spend as much time as possible with them without smothering them. There’s something about that anxiety about waiting by the phone for them to call. There’s something about picking out an outfit and shaving your legs and carefully applying make-up that is just exhilarating.

 It also sucks. It sucks to get so excited about someone, to have so much hope and promise and be let down time and time again. Because when dating fails? It’s because one person doesn’t feel the same way as the other. And no matter which side of that you’re on, it sucks. Not break-up level sucking, but more like hitting-your-head-on-a-table-because-you’ve-been-dating-since-you-were-15 kind of sucking. Frustrating, I’m-so-tired-of-this sucking. And you begin to wonder how many times you are going to have to go through this.

 But that beginning part? The part where you just glow for days on end because of the whole, “I think this guy really likes me!” part… that’s the feeling that keeps you going back for more. When you are just happy… you had a great date. He called the next day and already made plans for a second date… You don’t know where it’s going to go, what’s going to happen. Maybe you’ll get bored. Maybe he’ll lose interest. You don’t know. You just know the magic of good first dates and kisses that make time stand still. The newness and exhilaration make you forget about the horrible gut-wretching sobs and heartache you endure when it’s all over. The beginning is so good that you remember it, you want it back years into the relationship… and you are willing to go through it all again and again.

Success? March 1, 2009

It’s a rainy Friday night. I’m exhausted from flying to Chicago and back in the past 24 hours. It’s the kind of night to curl up on my couch with a blanket, some hot chocolate and my DVR from the past week. Instead, I’m parked outside a Mexican restaurant, half an hour early to meet a boy.

A date, I guess you could call it. When it involves a boy and a girl who want to get to know each other better, that’s what they call it, right? All I know is I didn’t think I was nervous until I got in my car, started driving, and realized the clock in my bedroom read 6:35, not 6:55.

Once I relaxed and got into the restaurant, things were great. We laughed and talked, and at one point, when he got up to use the bathroom, I looked at my watch. 9:00. I was impressed.

Shortly after, he had asked if I wanted another beer. I glanced at my watch again. 11:20. There was no way over two hours had passed, I thought. He saw me scrambling to look at time-measuring devices and laughed.

“Is it really after 11?” I asked. He laughed at me and said yes, it was.

I decided to call it a night, due to exhaustion. We wanted to see each other again, and we would.

He makes me smile. I’m dating. And for the first time in 2009, I feel like myself again.

The Boy November 28, 2008

I apologize for not updating. I’m a slacker. I’m a happy slacker, but a slacker.

Between work and class and soccer and the holidays and the new boy, I have had zero time. Except for today. And this weekend. I have a relaxing weekend planned of work, shopping with the boy, going to the gym, meeting the boy’s family, dinner and a concert with my family, and then waiting for the garage door repairman to come out first thing Monday morning.

No seriously, that’s relaxing compared to the madness that is every other week/weekend.

I’m very happy with the boy. Like really I-can’t-believe-this-is-going-so-well happy. We’ve taken all the typical “rules” associated with dating and thrown them out the window. Waiting three days before you call? Nope. He called the next day. Holding back on things that you’re feeling or thinking? Nope. We say what we feel at just about any given moment.

He has been fantastic about understanding my need for me time and me activities. I’ve felt bad, selfish even for asking these kind of things (thanks, Ex-Boyfriend for that). And new boy has been wonderful. He knows things like soccer, going out with my classmates after class for beer, gym time, etc are all important to me, and I do make time for him, but that doesn’t mean giving up everything else.

It’s early. I know it’s early. It’s kind of interesting, because while it’s early, I feel like we skipped over all the preliminary awkward dating “what is this? what’s he thinking?” stages. We just jumped right into the relationship part. And that can be good and that can be bad. It could be bad just because I don’t want to lose myself again. I don’t want to just free fall. I want to be cautious, but part of me is just going with it. It’s jumping right in and enjoying the ride.

I know where he stands. What he is looking for. And he knows the same about me. One of my friends told me that we’re reaching the age where we know what we want. We don’t waste anyone else’s time – or our own. So if you know what you want, and you think you’ve found it, go with it.

So for now? I am.